A friend of mine told me about this guy. He’s cute, she said. He as a job, she said. He’s a weirdo who write’s crazy poems and might stalk you, she DIDN’T say. Thanks boo.
Sounds crazy I know. My friend gives this guy my number, and he texts me asking me out. I agree to it. I was like 24 and single so why not? He wanted to pick me up and I said absolutely not. I appreciate ya but no sir, I don’t know you. We meet at a local fancy steak house. FIRST of freaking all, he shows up late. 15 minutes late. I mean, who’s the chick here dude? Second, he shows up in a long black trench coat. Not even kidding. Anyway, we sit down and we are looking over the wine menu. He asks what type of wine I like and I was so over it I said I didn’t care – I’m down for whatever wine he wants. In my head I’m thinking anything but red. Anything but red. And he says? RED. Yep. Perfect! Off to a wonderful start as you can see. (I will say, now that I’m older – I got love for you red wine.. I do..;) ) So the waiter brings the wine, opens it and spills half of the bottle on the table. OMG Stop it. It’s a freaking sign.. he pours what’s left in the bottle into our glasses and I don’t know that I have ever drank wine so fast in my entire life. Or any liquid for that matter. It was like chugging water in hell. #GULPandGONE
I notice halfway through dinner he keeps laughing at stuff I say but he has his lips covering all of his teeth. I’m thinking, what is going on? Not sure if he was missing some (NC Reppin?) or if he just needed braces but the kid didn’t show a tooth one! At this point I am trying everything I can to turn the guy off. Legit, leaning back in my chair, being annoying – basically being me, now that I think about it. HA! HA! Dinner ends, and we are walking out to our cars. He HAS to mention to me he drives a Land Rover. Backed it in and everything. #carclub and the finale…
I live 10 minutes away from the restaurant. TEN. Tee E In. 1 zero. This guys texts me before I get half way home and says…
“The sun shalln’t burn bright, nor the stars shine in the heavens until I hear from thou again”
Uhhhh what? Damn I didn’t realize I was on a date with Shakespeare himself. I didn’t respond so the next day he sends another text, “Too much? How about can’t wait to see you again. Looking forward to it”. I’m sorry, when did I EVER give off any kind of see you again vibe??
Fast forward 2 years later I was at work and I worked for a national staffing firm and guess who was in the database on the phone with the recruiter that sat in front of me? YEP. You guessed it. Freakin Shakespeare.
Amazing how life comes full circle. Haha.. please share your blind date stories.. good or bad!
- Wendy Petty
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