When you're single, you tend to spend a lot of time with yourself. This is not a bad thing. When you spend time with yourself, you get to learn who you are because there's nobody around to influence you to be someone else. You also learn to love all of yourself, which I believe is the first step to learning how to love. Most people care more about themselves than anybody else so if you're the most important person in your life and you don't love yourself, how can you possibly love somebody else? (my poetry book, Love's Diary discusses more about this)
Sometimes when we're in a relationship, it's difficult to make the best decisions because our logic is sometimes lost in love. We will put up with things that we never thought we would. We will keep a man who is cheating because we think we need this man. We'll lose our friends because we've either spent all our time with this man or he controls your mind to think they're not good friends. Even when we've come to our senses, we've watched the years go by and we just can't imagine starting over again.
Starting over is often harder for the married woman. The married woman doesn't want to have a divorce rate, It seems like a red flag for her future relationships and she would hate to tell people she's divorced. If she has kids with this man, she feels obligated to the relationship for the sake of her kids. These are the women who stick it out after 14 years and finally leave because they just can't take it anymore. I know for me, I would feel like I've wasted 14 years of my life but it's better to see yourself living in peace than suffering just so you can say you've been married for 30 years.
I've been single for a long time now and I've learned how to be complete in loving myself. I am still working on it, but I'm on my way to living in peace. I used to get so jealous when people around me announced their engagement but I've learned that life is a journey, not a race. When my soul is ready, it will find it's mate.
The same is true for you, if you're single. Don't think being single is a bad thing. It is what you need right now in life. Find love within yourself and you'll never feel like you need somebody in your life to be happy. This will teach you to know love when you see it.
Style Tags: Meera Meera
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